Cupids are over rated

Valentine is approaching and it’s bringing back memories of the years when I’d dread the day because for some of us its Single Awareness Day & for some it maybe too commercialized or forced.

I remember dreading it the most during high school years when a student from the admissions office would deliver those big fluffy bears,  heart-shaped balloons, roses to the very popular girls in my class and it would never be me. The funny thing is that  I wouldn’t give up the wait until 3pm for that day and repeat every year though.  It was hard trying to be happy for those girls when I was feeling so bummed about myself.

I also remember a time when my parents took me and my sister out on Valentine’s Day and how I felt embarrassed and kept praying no one from school would see me.

It went on  a few more years like that after high school until I decided to spend it with friends and do something that day instead of feeling sorry for myself.

Looking back it feels silly but at the time it was intense. I get you, all you single ladies:0) Let me tell you that your time will come when your guy will make you feel special and loved every single day and you’d be grateful that it played out the way it did.

Cupids are over rated and they are not even real.

Love does. Every day and not just on Valentine’s Day.

I do like the chocolate and flowers but I never want my husband to feel obligated to do or get me anything because it that  we’re the case it really suck the life out of the gift.

Happily married ❤

 

 

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the love i know

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t thank God for giving me an incredible husband. I’m so very grateful for him and his love. He knows me most and loves me best.

Before I even knew him, I wrote a list of characteristics that I’d like for my future husband to have and not only does he meet all of them but he really takes it to the next level.

He says it’s because he read a lot of Cosmo in high school LOL

He is just the sweetest most loving man i know and so lucky he is mine.

Elisabeth Elliot puts it in words that speak to me and the love I know and speak of.

“This love of which I speak is slow to lose patience – it looks for a way of being constructive.
Love is not possessive.
Love is not anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own ideas.
Love has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage.
Love is not touchy.
Love does not keep account of evil or gloat over the wickedness of other people. On the contrary, it is glad with all good men when truth prevails.
Love knows no limits to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. It is, in fact, the one thing that stands when all else has fallen.”
― Elisabeth Elliot, Let Me Be a Woman

he is still my boyfriend

When we were dating, no matter how tired I was, I’d shower, get ready and look pretty for him and stand by the door with my heart beating so fast as I waited for him to come and pick me up.

The beauty of being married and marriage is that you have the best of two worlds. I am comfortable enough in our relationship to wake up with crazy hair, walk around wearing two different socks, with a chip clip in my hair and he will still love me because he is faithful.

Even though he is my husband and the father of my baby, he is still my boyfriend and I never want to take his love for granted.

I want to make the extra effort to look desirable and attractive to him. I want to do my hair and wear those heels and that little black dress for him.

i love my boyfriend ❤

oshandme

El

The truth about butterflies and rainbow kisses

Was anyone listening to KIIS F.M. this morning?

A girl called stating her case of dating this amazing guy who has been so good to her yet she was having troubling liking him or as she said getting the butterflies and excited and not being able to stop thinking about the person.

Ryan’s advise was if she is calling for an answer it is because she already knows the answer but doesn’t want to hear it. He said an old wise man once told him “The answer that you don’t want to hear is the answer.”

I was still thinking and analyzing when another caller called to give her opinion and what she said was spot on.

We’re always looking for the crazy and the excitement and the butterflies when in the real world it doesn’t work out that way and that’s why relationships and marriages don’t last.

With having said that, here is what I think.

Chemistry is essential. You need to be attracted to the person. You can’t force it.  Character is way more important and it’s for the long and far ride. I’ve been with my husband for seven years and yes he still gives me the butterflies occasionally but for the most part it’s pretty normal and it’s committment and living life side by side day in and day out.

Media has us hooked on romance and all the hype of being in love. We’re always looking to “get” something but marriage works when we’re willing “to give” something to and for our spouses. Not to find the perfect person but to be the perfect person.

I can honestly say I’m in more love with my husband now than I was in the beginning when I had the most butterflies almost all the time. That is because I’ve come to know the person he is so much more and better seven years later than I did when I met him and it was all fun and games. We have created memories and lived experiences. I know him personally and intimately.  He is my constant friend, my companion and my lover.

You can’t be in love or love a person like crazy in like a month. That is more like lust.

Love grows and it is like wine. It gets better with  time spent together loving, giving, forgivig, doing. That’s romance.

Date with your mind and heart. Not just mind and not just heart.

Happily Married,

El

 

 

This is 40

Two weeks ago, my hubby and I went out on a date and saw This is 40. We were laughing so hard relating to the couple and the funny thng is we’re only 30 and could still relate! I love how the movie demonstrated the ups and downs marriage with kids. It is a beautiful mess and ever minute is worth it. Having a family is the best feeling, to have a belonging and then to have a child together it’s just magical.

My husband said he was actually surprised he really liked the movie. Originally he agreed to go for me 🙂

I recommend it to married couples with kids. 🙂

Bedtime stories with my lover

When we got married we vowed that we would continue dating each other and have date nights on a weekly basis. That worked so great for us…at the time. Then came our daughter and we have continued with our date nights weekly and sometimes biweekly depending on how busy we were that week or I should see how much energy we had left.  Lately we still go out just the two of us but now our date nights are mostly made  of staying home instead of going out and it’s been surprisingly really fun.

I’m slowing stripping off all rules because I’ve come to realize anything done out of obligation or for the sake of sucks the life out of it. Parenhood is challenging and when you’ve worked 8 hours a day and come home to take care of chores, cook, take out the trash, you kind of don’t feel like getting dressed up again to go out. yesterday, I slipped in my pjs by 5pm.

We’ve been able to put Emma to bed by 8pm most nights and we stay up until 10 or 11pm catching up, telling work stories, eating, watching movies, laughing, and being silly together or some nights we stay up and clean together.  My favorite part of the day is the last 30 minutes spent whispering and giggling telling funny stories and poking fun at each other in bed.

My husband is my constant friend and companion.

It is when we are doing things together that friendship springs up –
painting, sailing ships, praying, philosophizing,
and fighting shoulder to shoulder.
Friends look in the same direction.
– C.S. Lewis

Xo,

El

New Year, New Day & Maybe New Me.

Just like many of you, I took time to assess last year and write down my goals for this year.  All this happened on Jury Duty day in the waiting room. Everyone was dismissed at the end of the day. 🙂

If you’re anything like me, I spend more time making a to do list than actually doing stuff. But they say when you write it down, you’re more likely to do it, so I keep writing them down.

But this year, I don’t want to do a lot, I want to be more. But even then, I wrote a list.

I’m turning 30 this August and I want to simplify my life as much as possible and bring it down to what really matters…the basics.  The rest is just so distracting that keep us busy enough to not have any time for our loved ones;  the ones who truly deserve and need to most. They’re the ones who love us the most even with all of our junk.

This year, I want to be a fun girl. I think I’m fun some days but I really want to bring that girl out this year.

I want to laugh a lot and date my husband more. I’ve never gone ice skating, I asked if he would take me this year and he said yes!

I want to let go and let God be in control. I freak out a lot and I need to stop.

I want to be the kind of role model by daughter looks up to. It’s so hard to keep calm when you’ve asked your toddler to do something for the 400th time.

I want to be a really good friend to a few good friends. My husband will tell accounts of me crying over the fact that no one calls me their best friend but a few years ago, my sister bought me a teddy bear that had a sweater on and it said “best friends.” The funny thing is my husband is my best friend and he tells me I’m his, but I guess every girl wants that BFF…or maybe it’s just me. Whatever..

I don’t want to try to be perfect and pretend to have it all together because I don’t and that’s ok.

I’m still navigating this thing called motherhood and trying to date my husband at the same time.

It’s a lot of work.

But anything worthwhile is a lot of work…and work can be fun too 🙂

So very thankful for my life and praying for God’s blessings in our lives this year. To really taste that the Lord is good.

Happy New Year to all my followers…you guys really inspire me to come back and blog some more this year.

El

Fashionable Event

We had a fun weekend celebrating my cousins engagement and dancing the night away with my love! I was so lucky to have my sister do my hair and makeup. I’m wearing a dress my Xscape and jewlery by BAR III jewelry.  Hair and makeup by my sister. You can find her on facebook Hair By Mary

 

 

Day 8 Acts of Love & Little Surprises

today is day 8 of #30daysofthanksgiving and today I’m thankful for the little acts of love surprises especially on an ordinary day that makes it all so extraordinary. This morning I found a POP dance cd in my bag from my sweet love. I’m thankful for his thoughtfulness and this pleasant surprise which totally made my day at 6:00 am in the morning.

I was thinking of how I can me good to others by expressing thanks to someone at least one person a day.

Today, I need to pick at least 8 people to express thanks to, to be up to date.

Will you join me on this journey?

Elle

engaged marriage

I really like my husband. I think he is really cool, very fun and super hot. My view of him hasn’t changed much since we started dating seven years ago. It has actually gotten better. I like him more. He has become a better man.

I noticed that lately I was downgrading our marriage to relate with the mass culture of the married couples who have issues. Honestly, we’re not perfect but we don’t have issues. We annoy each other time to time for sure but even laugh about that.

I live to break marital stereotypes.

One of the main reasons why good marriages go wrong is because couples stop doing that they did while dating. One of them gets too comfortable and the other too familiar.

Just like we can’t keep a beautiful garden unless we water, cut the weeds, protect & nourish day in and day out.

I heard a celebrity say “if you really love someone, you shouldn’t have to work so hard for it.” How foolish. It’s the opposite.

Good things don’t just happen if you don’t make them happen.