Cupids are over rated

Valentine is approaching and it’s bringing back memories of the years when I’d dread the day because for some of us its Single Awareness Day & for some it maybe too commercialized or forced.

I remember dreading it the most during high school years when a student from the admissions office would deliver those big fluffy bears,  heart-shaped balloons, roses to the very popular girls in my class and it would never be me. The funny thing is that  I wouldn’t give up the wait until 3pm for that day and repeat every year though.  It was hard trying to be happy for those girls when I was feeling so bummed about myself.

I also remember a time when my parents took me and my sister out on Valentine’s Day and how I felt embarrassed and kept praying no one from school would see me.

It went on  a few more years like that after high school until I decided to spend it with friends and do something that day instead of feeling sorry for myself.

Looking back it feels silly but at the time it was intense. I get you, all you single ladies:0) Let me tell you that your time will come when your guy will make you feel special and loved every single day and you’d be grateful that it played out the way it did.

Cupids are over rated and they are not even real.

Love does. Every day and not just on Valentine’s Day.

I do like the chocolate and flowers but I never want my husband to feel obligated to do or get me anything because it that  we’re the case it really suck the life out of the gift.

Happily married ❤

 

 

Hello Spring Semester

Here we go again. I started first day of Spring Semester at CSUN yesterday. I’m taking 2 courses. 1. Poly Science ONLINE and Child development class called Applied Social Development.

Reviewing the syllabus is the worst because it feels overwhelming to see all the work that is required. One of the professors even said to figure out a 1ohr week studying time in order to pass the class.

But I can do this. I just need to take it day by day and focus on finishing one assignment at a time.

I’m trusting God to give me the strength I need to finish strong.

Matthew 6:34

The Message (MSG)

34 “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

During my last semester, I wasn’t able to commit to going to the gym because that was the only time I could come home from work and focus on my homework while my husband took Emma to the gym for an hour or two.

Since I had a month off from school, I started going to the gym and I’m really liking the way I feel about myself. I notice the change in energy and it just makes me feel good about myself. Even though I haven’t lost any weight, I want to continue going an hour 3 or 4 times a week.

I also want to spend time with my daughter until her bedtime and then focus on schoolwork, probably till midnight or whatever time I may need to stay up.

All I keep day dreaming about is my graduation with hubby and Emma being there with me and celebrating together. They are my inspiration.

 

 

A Student

After much anxiety, hard work and trying to stay focused, tears and lots and lots of prayers, I successfully completed my Fall Semester with an A in both classes. That was so important for me. Funny thing is, I got the best grades as a mom and a wife than I did when I was single and didn’t have responsibillites.

I’m enrolled in 2 classes for Spring 2013 which begins Jan 22nd.

Please pray for me that God will help me to stay focused.

Thank you in advance,

El

Wrapping Up Fall Semester

Final Exam #1 just happened. I’m fully aware I couldn’t have done this semester in my own strength because most mornings i wanted to hide under my bed and eat hot cheetos and thought WTH was i thinking going back. But God once again supplied me with all that I need and carried me through by His grace and power of His Word reminding me  I can do everything that  I need to do through Christ who strengthens me; regardless of my story, status and situation. To my Heavenly Daddy, I love you and thank you for being with me.

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

phil 4.13

 

All things

Today, is my second week back to school.

I think I’m starting to get the hang of things. I was able to get into the swing of things in class today.

I’m certain this power word is going to get me through this season.

Philippians 4:13

Amplified Bible (AMP)

13 I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who [a]infuses inner strength into me; I am [b]self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency].

Do it Afraid

Over and over again I have come to realize that confident people are people of courage. They go ahead and do things even when they’re afraid. Courage is not the absence of fear but it’s doing it regardless.

Going back to school has been that for me. Leap of Faith. Going against my fears. Things have changed on campus. I’m not a teenager anymore. In a classroom setting there is only one or two other moms other than me. It’s a been intimidating but also empowering.

I’ll I can think about is “I can do whatever I need to do through Christ who strengthens me.”

I’ve been here as a single student, engaged student, married and now a mom. There is an inside joke on campus that I will graduate one day with my kid and it might just become a reality. I’d love for my daughter to attend my graduation. When that day comes, I hope to be able to take her on stage with me.

I’ve never felt this urgency to finish college before.

 

 

 

 

Back to School

Oops, I did it again! I’ve lost count how many times I’ve taken a semester off here and there and returned back to school one more time! I did it again. I officially took a break during pregnancy, almost two years ago. Today was my first time in class since then!

When I started college at 18, I was the newly freshman looking around and noticing a few moms here and there & wondering how they managed school with full-time jobs and family responsibility. Well, I’m about to find out.

I’ve pretty much done my life the other way around, and complete opposite of what our society considers the “norm.” It’s worked out pretty good for me. Now that I have my MRS and MOM degree, just maybe, I can FINALLY get my BA.

Say a little prayer for me to stay focused and on course to reach the prize!

xoxo

El

 

Your worth will never come from a piece of paper

I never imagined it would take me so long to get a BS degree. It’s been an adventure. I just got an email that Fall Registration is coming up and I’m really contemplating about going back and finishing the remaining classes that I have left. I was supposed to walk last year of May 23, 2011 but Emma was born May 21, 2011 so I received my MOM degree instead. It’s been a joke on campus that I received my MRS and MOM degree and I’m still working on my BS.

Honestly, getting a degree is not going to effect me in my job and passion. What I’m really passionate about is family, marriage and relationships. For me to really get into MFT, it will require more schooling and thousands of internship hours and I just don’t know if I want that anymore because it will require my time away from my family and baby.

My life has turned out differently than I planned it in high school. I didn’t know I was going to change my mind from a Business Management degree to Child Development in the second year of college. I just didn’t like Accounting. Ironically, my job has been in Finance, Purchasing and Administration and I’m pretty darn good in it. It wasn’t planned for my mom to have my brother when I was almost 22 years old. Both my sister and I took time off from schooling and work to help our mom.More my sister than I. God bless her heart and hard work.

From the start, I’ve been family oriented and have put my family and loved ones ahead of me and my education. I’m not sure if that’s the right thing or the good thing, but I don’t regret it.

The only nagging feeling is that I still don’t have my degree. The more I think about it, I realize why it is actually bothering me. I don’t feel as worthy in that department because the normal thing to do after high school is going to college and get a degree and it hasn’t turned out that way for me so I’m feeling a little loss and out-of-place.

There is no rush or urgency in needing to get my degree but only a sense of achievement, accomplishment and I just want to be proud of myself that I finished what I started regardless of how long it took. I also dream of Emma being there on my graduation day and being proud of her mom.I would really like that.

I already know that even getting the degree is not going to make me feel any worthy than I already am. Really, it’s only a piece of paper. God never intended us to seek our worth in the world. It has to come from within. Yet, we get so stuck on our accomplishments and notable degrees, that those of us who have all that still feel unfulfilled and empty and unworthy if we lost our job or God forbid something went wrong in our career. Because most of us carry and image of ourselves based on what we do for a living and the number of credentials we have. That’s not all who we are.There is more to us than a degree, than a job, than a paycheck. Our worth will never come from a piece of paper.

Yes, it’s good and it’s important to be educated and get skilled but that shouldn’t define us.

What makes us valuable as a human being and a child of God? That’s the reason why you’re worthy.

El

 

 

 

 

The 5 Year Service

Yesterday, I received my 5 year service award from CSUN. I can’t believe I’m still here. I started off as a student worker at the Corp in CSUN when I was only 17. That is when my mom and I came to visit the campus to fill out some paperwork, she noticed a job application and talked me into filling it out which I eventually got the job.

Five years of working at the corp as a student worker and going to school with first a Business Major, then later changed to Child Development, I then decided to leave to go into my field as I continued with schooling.

I left the corp and got a job as a preschool teacher but it didn’t take me too long to find out, I hated it. A month into it, I started reapplying to jobs at CSUN and one year later, I got hired as an Assistant at the Purchasing Office on campus.

It’s been 5 years since I’ve been here and a lot has happened during those years. I got promoted a few times to now being a Buyer I, married, had a baby but still have not yet received my bachelors. It’s so ironic. That is still my goal. I was supposed to walk last year May 23, 2011 but my daughter was born May 21st. I must start the graduation application process again….

Thanks for following this crazy journey of mine.

xoxo

El