Wrapping Up Fall Semester

Final Exam #1 just happened. I’m fully aware I couldn’t have done this semester in my own strength because most mornings i wanted to hide under my bed and eat hot cheetos and thought WTH was i thinking going back. But God once again supplied me with all that I need and carried me through by His grace and power of His Word reminding me  I can do everything that  I need to do through Christ who strengthens me; regardless of my story, status and situation. To my Heavenly Daddy, I love you and thank you for being with me.

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

phil 4.13

 

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Fashionable Event

We had a fun weekend celebrating my cousins engagement and dancing the night away with my love! I was so lucky to have my sister do my hair and makeup. I’m wearing a dress my Xscape and jewlery by BAR III jewelry.  Hair and makeup by my sister. You can find her on facebook Hair By Mary

 

 

But don’t you trust me..

This morning I got a chance to listen to Ryan Seacret’s “Ryan’s Roses”

A wife was calling in because she was getting the vibe that her husband and a good friend might have done something together the night she went to bed early while they stayed up drinking and talking. The wife had agreed for her friend to move in temporarily until she found a place and that night the three of them were up drinking until she went to bed.

Patti called the husband to send the free roses and sure enough her husband makes the roses out to her friend Veronica. When confronted, he admits and says he is very sorry and justifies by the fact that they ‘ONLY” kissed.

I’m not a marriage counselor but I’ve read enough on it to have some relationship codes that you cannot break other than TRUST of course.

As a married couple, it is not wise to have a female friend live in temporarily.

It is also not the best idea to leave them alone together in a room drunk.

The best way to avoid these incidents is to avoid the opportunity all together. Why would you set a trap for yourself?

These kinda things could and do happen if we’re not careful.

Cheaters don’t usually plan to cheat. It happens gradually and it is usually the result of an emotional connection.

Studies show that more affairs happen at work than anywhere else because two people working so closely together day in and day out can establish a bond together, especially if they take lunch breaks together & eventually could lead to other things.

It’s unfortunate that girls who are protective of their relationship are referred to as a “jealous bitch.”  Yes, I know a girl can go a little too far with that but how else would you protect your relationship if you don’t set boundaries and draw the line somewhere?

Girls, don’t be manipulated by a guy who says “But don’t you trust me.” That’s bullshit.

Couples should be encouraged to keep each other accountable and openly talk about everything that includes concerns, insecurities and fears &

I’m also a strong believer in keeping your marriage in tact by seeing a therapist once a year just for a relationship checkup as you do with a physical.it’s worth the investement.

My hubby and I have gone to pre-martial counseling, then a follow up marital counseling, went once more when I got pregnant and just a few months ago we had two day marriage retreat at our church.

Those kinda things keep us in check and help us to refocus. We are in it to love each other, to put each other before ourselves for better and for worse.

You can’t just shower once and stay clean. The grass in not greener on the other side, it’s green where they water it.

To listen to today’s Ryan’s Roses go here

http://www.krbe.com/ROULARYANSHOW/RoulaRyansRoses/tabid/201/Default.aspx

Do it Afraid

Over and over again I have come to realize that confident people are people of courage. They go ahead and do things even when they’re afraid. Courage is not the absence of fear but it’s doing it regardless.

Going back to school has been that for me. Leap of Faith. Going against my fears. Things have changed on campus. I’m not a teenager anymore. In a classroom setting there is only one or two other moms other than me. It’s a been intimidating but also empowering.

I’ll I can think about is “I can do whatever I need to do through Christ who strengthens me.”

I’ve been here as a single student, engaged student, married and now a mom. There is an inside joke on campus that I will graduate one day with my kid and it might just become a reality. I’d love for my daughter to attend my graduation. When that day comes, I hope to be able to take her on stage with me.

I’ve never felt this urgency to finish college before.

 

 

 

 

1st Week of Back to College

Wow! Things have changed. It’s been two years since I’ve been in a class room sitting and this week I went back to college as a senior, as a married woman and a mom with 36,000 students on campus and during a time of major budget cuts, decrease in classes and professors and almost no advisors on campus.

I pretty much had to do my planning for the next two semesters.

I walked around campus more this week as a student than I did as an employee here for the last year. I had forgotten how much paper work is required and how much I gotta HUSTLE.

So far I’m enrolled in 2 classes. One of which is ONLINE. I love online classes. I do really well independelty.

I got my chair advisor to sign my graduation form and now I need the Grad evaluator to sign off on it before garduation date becomes offical.

Early Birthday Gifts

I’ve been getting gifts and it’s not even my birthday yet! Love it how every year a week in advance my birthday extravaganza starts. A dear friend of mine surprised purchased tix for me to go see Angry Conversations with God by Susan Isaacs in September and when I got home from work yesterday, hubby couldn’t wait to give one of my gifts. He bought me Nike shoes. Pink on Black. So cute!

Now, I really need to lose the extra weight 🙂

 

 

Honoring your wife

An incredible amount of hard feelings and conflict could be avoided if husbands would resolve not to make any decision affecting their wives and the rest of their families without first getting their wives’ consent.


– From “It Takes Two to Tango” by Gary and Norma Smalley

Consent means to ask for permission or to affirm. I like the word affirm better. When my hubby is planning for something, it makes me feel  confident, honored, loved and secure when he gets my consent before going with his plan.

It’s a way for the husband to show honor to his wife.

Most men are stubborn and too prideful and they rather not. This can create a lot of strife and closing of spirit in the wife, which eventually leads to bitterness and resentment.

When you marry, you become a unit. The “I” and “you” become, or should become “we.” Two shall become one. That’s a cute statement but the becoming part takes work and collaboration from both parties. It requires selfless love which includes getting wive’s consent and same is true for wives should seek husband’s consent.

How else would the wife feel honored and respected if the husband went ahead with his own plans without considering talking about it with his other half?

Being Married to a Strong Man

I’m so lucky to be married to a strong man. He makes my life easy, he is my backbone, fills the gaps for me and never ever pressures me to be or do more.

The problem in most of our relationships in our society is that men want the authority and like to be in charge but they don’t like the responsibility. They would like to do and have things but they don’t want to be committed and responsible.

So many men, leave their pregnant girlfriends and wives and walk out on them and to make matters worse they don’t even want to pay for child support after they’re gone.

They all wanted something but never stayed there to take responsibility.

It is a burden for me when I see a husband coming home from work, putting his feet up and watching tv, while his wife also has a full time job as well, but comes home to run around like a nut case, trying to do the dishes, cook, go to soccer games and have the kids in check.

I was raised in a family that it was ok for men to be that way and women just accepted it. It’s not ok to be mistreated nor do you get married to have a full time maid.

I submit to my husband because he cares for me, he protects me, he helps me. Most of the time I don’t have trouble submitting to him because of the way he is with me.

Why do you think so many girls hate men and have the attitude of “I’m not gonna let a man tell me what to do! or “I don’t need a man.”

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Eph 5:25

When I first started dating Osh, he’d come to the kitchen to help out and my dad would call him to go sit and watch the game with him. Even though my dad was raised to believe that was the way it had to be done, over the course of our relationship, my dad has come to terms and he now helps my mom so much more. Where as before he didn’t even know where the coffee cups were.

Before I met Osh, I had vowed to myself that I would not marry a man from my culture because growing up I had seen how most were and I didn’t want to be married to that for the rest of my life. Osh proved otherwise. I’m not saying all are this way but most are and someone needs to stand up and change the course.

Osh is a strong man. He is one of the most easy going, stable and commitment person I know.  He goes out of the way to make sure we are doing things together. We try to put each other first. If he sees me cooking, he comes to help me with the dishes. If he puts in the laundry, then I fold them.

When I had Emma, he stayed up all nights and took care of her. Even now, if Emma wakes up, Osh gets up to check on her and lets me sleep.

He lets me have my way a lot but when he puts his foot down, it’s down and I honor and respect him and let him have his way.  I have so much respect for him.

It really doesn’t have to be complicated.

If you want a good marriage, you must put the effort and not your feet up all the time.

There is a time to do that and you can do it together to relax.

Honor and value each other. It’s ok to do the dishes and vacuum- that doesn’t define or determine your man hood. It’s actually pretty attractive. I got so excited when I saw Osh ironing his shirt last week for my cousin’s wedding that I had to take a pic. 🙂

Your worth will never come from a piece of paper

I never imagined it would take me so long to get a BS degree. It’s been an adventure. I just got an email that Fall Registration is coming up and I’m really contemplating about going back and finishing the remaining classes that I have left. I was supposed to walk last year of May 23, 2011 but Emma was born May 21, 2011 so I received my MOM degree instead. It’s been a joke on campus that I received my MRS and MOM degree and I’m still working on my BS.

Honestly, getting a degree is not going to effect me in my job and passion. What I’m really passionate about is family, marriage and relationships. For me to really get into MFT, it will require more schooling and thousands of internship hours and I just don’t know if I want that anymore because it will require my time away from my family and baby.

My life has turned out differently than I planned it in high school. I didn’t know I was going to change my mind from a Business Management degree to Child Development in the second year of college. I just didn’t like Accounting. Ironically, my job has been in Finance, Purchasing and Administration and I’m pretty darn good in it. It wasn’t planned for my mom to have my brother when I was almost 22 years old. Both my sister and I took time off from schooling and work to help our mom.More my sister than I. God bless her heart and hard work.

From the start, I’ve been family oriented and have put my family and loved ones ahead of me and my education. I’m not sure if that’s the right thing or the good thing, but I don’t regret it.

The only nagging feeling is that I still don’t have my degree. The more I think about it, I realize why it is actually bothering me. I don’t feel as worthy in that department because the normal thing to do after high school is going to college and get a degree and it hasn’t turned out that way for me so I’m feeling a little loss and out-of-place.

There is no rush or urgency in needing to get my degree but only a sense of achievement, accomplishment and I just want to be proud of myself that I finished what I started regardless of how long it took. I also dream of Emma being there on my graduation day and being proud of her mom.I would really like that.

I already know that even getting the degree is not going to make me feel any worthy than I already am. Really, it’s only a piece of paper. God never intended us to seek our worth in the world. It has to come from within. Yet, we get so stuck on our accomplishments and notable degrees, that those of us who have all that still feel unfulfilled and empty and unworthy if we lost our job or God forbid something went wrong in our career. Because most of us carry and image of ourselves based on what we do for a living and the number of credentials we have. That’s not all who we are.There is more to us than a degree, than a job, than a paycheck. Our worth will never come from a piece of paper.

Yes, it’s good and it’s important to be educated and get skilled but that shouldn’t define us.

What makes us valuable as a human being and a child of God? That’s the reason why you’re worthy.

El