Love loves at all times and no matter what

Sometimes I can be a little too hard on myself and get caught in the middle of focusing on my faults and weaknesses instead of my strengths. But my husband on the other hand, he  really displays the heart and love of God in the way He loves me and shows that he does in spite of my shortcomings.

Love covers all faults.

Love does.

Love is a verb.

Love is patient.

I have the tendency to leave the cabinet doors half-open, cereal box open and spill sugar and coffee when I’m making my Armenian coffee. A typical reaction would be to get annoyed at these things and irritated but instead my hubby is so patient with me.

On my way home yesterday I received a text from him saying “Even though, you left the doors and cereal box open again, I still love you.”

I couldn’t help but laugh and at that moment my heart was overjoyed to have that kind of love in my life.

Love is kind.

To top it off, when I got home, he had written a really beautiful, encouraging note on the kitchen board. I teared up and gave him a big hug because those words carried life and healing in them. He just knows what to say and do to make my life wonderful.

One of the areas that I see God real in my life is in my marriage because I know what we have is valuable and it’s not obtained mere by human efforts.

I see answered prayers.

I see transformation.

I see love at it’s best.

I see God’s fingerprints.

All glory to Him. Who is the center of our marriage.

Threefold Cord.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

New International Version (NIV)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

El

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Jessica Simpson’s Baby

Watching Jessica Simpson go through her pregnancy which seemed like almost four years, reminded me a lot of my pregnancy. Especially the fact that she gained as much as I did but she is shorter than me so it made me feel a little better about myself.;)

Her baby is so cute!! I know she is gonna make a great mom.

 

I love her as person and a designer. If you guys ever run out of ideas of what to get me – get me a Jessica Simpson bag! 🙂

 

Don’t Worry, God is Always On Time

Today, I was reminded how when the Bible talks about seasons- they are not seasons we decide. Our life is in God’s hands. Our times are in His hands. Our part is to be faithful to God in the season we are in. The way we approach and react to it is in our hands. How we handle situations shows our character and effects others around us whether we realize it or not.

I was reminded that even though God is never too late, he isn’t early either. He is just right on time. Until then….

Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

 

Morphing Eliza

You know it sucks, when your hubby is right. 😉 It really makes all the difference when you get to know yourself and others. My personality type is that I’m an all or nothing person and I tend to see things in black or white perspective. It has it’s advantages and disadvantages. Thankfully, I’m married to a man who sees the whole picture. When I see something different than my preference as wrong, he sees it as different and that’s what makes our relationship so great. We bring out the best in each other.

One of the hardest things and struggles for me in the past years have been breaking old bad habits. Not talking about addictions, but habit of wrongful thinking and expectations and beliefs.

Understanding where you come from, how you were raised and your background, and all the little things that happened along the way that we call experiences help you become your best self. It’s really not in high in the clouds and super spiritual rather it’s all very practical.

In Christ, we are new creatures. Old things have passed away and behold all things are made new. Yes. But there is some in between soul work that needs to be done with the help of the Holy Spirit. That’s where I’m at. It’s like having shoe laces tied in a knot and trying to untangle them one at a time.

It’s the constant struggle of what a Christian should look like and the nagging sense of failing people and being criticized as a hypocrite.  Letting Jesus down and being a bad rep for God.

Clearly, I have failed.

But I know, It’s in those cracks that the light of God gets in and makes me whole.

I’m always concerned about what people will think not so much of myself but of the faith I profess and this Jesus I proclaim Lord and Savior. I forget that the people who wrote the bible were as messed up if not more than me and they all were sinners just like you and me.

It’s this burden of how I live my life according to God’s Word and whether or not I’m obeying him. Whether or not am I being a good Christian gets in the way of my walk with God.

The nagging constant old fashioned Armenian mentality of what a women should be and the traditions we should follow that supposedly is the right way…said I don’t know who. The rules and regulations set by our mothers, relatives, churches and so and so that keeps us from becoming our best self. The constant battle of competition to be the best and have this and that that force us to become someone we’re not. The strict parenting styles that make no sense that are set differently and unfairly based on gender. I dislike them all!

These are all important for me to resolve because I have a daughter to raise with my wonderful husband. I want to raise a fearless, fierce and a confident woman. Who wouldn’t shy away from the unknown and who wouldn’t be afraid to take risks and make mistakes.

With that said, I just want to leave you with this last thought.  Just because someone is a Christian, it does not make them an angel or any better than someone who is not.  Just because someone goes to church, it does not make them a good person just like standing in the garage won’t make one a car.

Just because someone says they’re Christian it does not make them a boring person with no personality.

Jesus came to rescue us from the law….He came to give us Grace.

He chose to be crucified for me knowing all the mistakes that I would make. Nothing that I will ever do is ever a surprise to God. He loves me past,  today, tomorrow and forever the same. That’s my Redeeming Love.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8

 

He came so that we may have life and have it to the full.

He summed it up by love your neighbor as yourself.

He simply wants us to walk in Love.

God wants us to enjoy life. Nothing makes him happier than his children enjoying life.

Isn’t that what a parent wants for their children?

“If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” – John 8:7

El

Beauty for Ashes

No matter how perfect a person may seem from the outside, we don’t know the matters of their hearts. Only the Lord does. Sometimes we don’t even know the matters of our own heart. Everything may be going well and yet we could feel wrong and uneasy from unresolved issues from the past or sometimes it is because we have taken on more than we can handle.That’s why it is so important to have a close relationship with God because He is the one that gives us all the wisdom we need if we ask Him.

We all have strengths and weaknesses. Sadly, human nature is to talk about our weaknesses and the faults of others rather than our strengths and the good of others.

We judge to quickly, instead of being more compassionate.

We criticize more than we encourage each other.

We isolate ourselves from friends who have hurt us and expect good relationships.

We constantly complain instead of doing something about it.

More than ever, we need to accept responsibility and not blame things on God. A lot of times our lives turn out the way they do because of our poor choices. God won’t do for us what we can and should do for ourselves and we can’t do for ourselves what only God can do for us. It’s a partnership. The awesome thing about it is you could never screw up so bad that God can’t help you with it. God is God. He is able!!! No matter where we come from, what has happened to us, it does not need to continue. If we pray, God is faithful to intervene and help us in all the areas of our lives. If we give him our ashes, he promises to turn them into beauty.

Partner with God.

xoxo

El

 

Being Married to a Strong Man

I’m so lucky to be married to a strong man. He makes my life easy, he is my backbone, fills the gaps for me and never ever pressures me to be or do more.

The problem in most of our relationships in our society is that men want the authority and like to be in charge but they don’t like the responsibility. They would like to do and have things but they don’t want to be committed and responsible.

So many men, leave their pregnant girlfriends and wives and walk out on them and to make matters worse they don’t even want to pay for child support after they’re gone.

They all wanted something but never stayed there to take responsibility.

It is a burden for me when I see a husband coming home from work, putting his feet up and watching tv, while his wife also has a full time job as well, but comes home to run around like a nut case, trying to do the dishes, cook, go to soccer games and have the kids in check.

I was raised in a family that it was ok for men to be that way and women just accepted it. It’s not ok to be mistreated nor do you get married to have a full time maid.

I submit to my husband because he cares for me, he protects me, he helps me. Most of the time I don’t have trouble submitting to him because of the way he is with me.

Why do you think so many girls hate men and have the attitude of “I’m not gonna let a man tell me what to do! or “I don’t need a man.”

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Eph 5:25

When I first started dating Osh, he’d come to the kitchen to help out and my dad would call him to go sit and watch the game with him. Even though my dad was raised to believe that was the way it had to be done, over the course of our relationship, my dad has come to terms and he now helps my mom so much more. Where as before he didn’t even know where the coffee cups were.

Before I met Osh, I had vowed to myself that I would not marry a man from my culture because growing up I had seen how most were and I didn’t want to be married to that for the rest of my life. Osh proved otherwise. I’m not saying all are this way but most are and someone needs to stand up and change the course.

Osh is a strong man. He is one of the most easy going, stable and commitment person I know.  He goes out of the way to make sure we are doing things together. We try to put each other first. If he sees me cooking, he comes to help me with the dishes. If he puts in the laundry, then I fold them.

When I had Emma, he stayed up all nights and took care of her. Even now, if Emma wakes up, Osh gets up to check on her and lets me sleep.

He lets me have my way a lot but when he puts his foot down, it’s down and I honor and respect him and let him have his way.  I have so much respect for him.

It really doesn’t have to be complicated.

If you want a good marriage, you must put the effort and not your feet up all the time.

There is a time to do that and you can do it together to relax.

Honor and value each other. It’s ok to do the dishes and vacuum- that doesn’t define or determine your man hood. It’s actually pretty attractive. I got so excited when I saw Osh ironing his shirt last week for my cousin’s wedding that I had to take a pic. 🙂

The LifeBlood of Love

Healthy communication is the lifeblood of love. A relationship will only be as good as its communication. – It takes Two to Tango

I’m all about communication. In person, text, email, fb, you name it! I love interacting. The sad part of this is that sometimes its a one way street for me especially in some friendships.

Some people don’t like to communicate through technology and they prefer in person interaction, the face to face. My favorite! Others are better at tech  communication verses in person and perhaps it’s because they can express themselves better in writing. I don’t mind doing both or all.

But how do you keep a relationship or a friendship a live if you don’t see them as often as you would like?

In our marriage, we are in touch throughout the day. We know what each person is up to hourly. We text, email, call each other on our lunch breaks, talk about our days during dinner and really there is a flow of communication throughout the day. Maybe that’s a little too much for some of you, but to us that’s the norm. We’ve been this way since the very beginning. The first time, Osh picked me up and then dropped me off, when he got home he text me “I’m home.” Boy, was I shocked! You know what that told me about him? That he cares about me and he doesn’t want me wondering.

I get stagnate in my friendships because I don’t get in return what I put in. It’s very difficult for me to do a work around. I can’t feel connected to a person if I don’t hear from them in some form. I lose touch. We lose touch. There are a few friends that everything is mutual. We have families, we have kids, so when we see each other we pick up where we left off.

I appreciate my friends when they text me, think of me. Who wouldn’t like that? I can’t seem to swallow the excuse of “I’m too busy.” Because I know the way girls do friendships is the same way we do breakups:  we just distance ourselves by not communicating or including you anymore. We become exclusive with one friend.

My hubby will tell you for the longest time I was in search for a best friend. Sounds pretty childish but one Christmas when my sister gave me a teddy bear that said “Best Friends” on it, I cried. It is still the best gift I’ve ever received.

Osh and I have real deep conversations sometimes. Yesterday during one of those type of conversations, I told my husband that one of the things I admire about him is the way he does friendships. Most guys in general, never care to title their friends as best friends, causal friends or whatever, they just meet up and have a good time. They’ll contact each other for info and everything is real mutual and no drama.

Osh, really is that friend. He treats everyone with the same amount of love and respect and shows no favoritism or partiality. He includes everyone and doesn’t make the rest feel like “you don’t belong.”

As I continue observing my hubby and other friendships, I like the idea of having a circle of friends to love, value and respect and people I can hang out and have fun with. If we are spending too much time with one friend it only means we are excluding everyone else.  How would you feel if you were the one in that circle of friends? It is good to have a few good, special friends but to take pride only in one is not cool at all especially if we’re publicly advertising it.

Really, the only best friend that I have that’s never left my side or forgotten about me is JESUS. I talk to him every day. He is there when I call him and never busy for me.

My other half is my special friend for life of course and everyone else who I hang out and reach out to are my good friends that I have made along the journey.

All relationships in order to be healthy and maintained require communication.

If you’re purposely avoiding talking to someone or you’re just not talking anymore, then really there is a breakup. It’s up to you to reconcile or move on.

Whatever you choose, will require communication. Even non communication is a form of communication.

Who are you communicating with?

If you have friends that you value that you haven’t been in touch with, then you should get in touch!

Let it start with you!

If you’re upset with your significant other, talk and get things right.

Silence can be deadly and sometimes it hurts more than words.

El

Your worth will never come from a piece of paper

I never imagined it would take me so long to get a BS degree. It’s been an adventure. I just got an email that Fall Registration is coming up and I’m really contemplating about going back and finishing the remaining classes that I have left. I was supposed to walk last year of May 23, 2011 but Emma was born May 21, 2011 so I received my MOM degree instead. It’s been a joke on campus that I received my MRS and MOM degree and I’m still working on my BS.

Honestly, getting a degree is not going to effect me in my job and passion. What I’m really passionate about is family, marriage and relationships. For me to really get into MFT, it will require more schooling and thousands of internship hours and I just don’t know if I want that anymore because it will require my time away from my family and baby.

My life has turned out differently than I planned it in high school. I didn’t know I was going to change my mind from a Business Management degree to Child Development in the second year of college. I just didn’t like Accounting. Ironically, my job has been in Finance, Purchasing and Administration and I’m pretty darn good in it. It wasn’t planned for my mom to have my brother when I was almost 22 years old. Both my sister and I took time off from schooling and work to help our mom.More my sister than I. God bless her heart and hard work.

From the start, I’ve been family oriented and have put my family and loved ones ahead of me and my education. I’m not sure if that’s the right thing or the good thing, but I don’t regret it.

The only nagging feeling is that I still don’t have my degree. The more I think about it, I realize why it is actually bothering me. I don’t feel as worthy in that department because the normal thing to do after high school is going to college and get a degree and it hasn’t turned out that way for me so I’m feeling a little loss and out-of-place.

There is no rush or urgency in needing to get my degree but only a sense of achievement, accomplishment and I just want to be proud of myself that I finished what I started regardless of how long it took. I also dream of Emma being there on my graduation day and being proud of her mom.I would really like that.

I already know that even getting the degree is not going to make me feel any worthy than I already am. Really, it’s only a piece of paper. God never intended us to seek our worth in the world. It has to come from within. Yet, we get so stuck on our accomplishments and notable degrees, that those of us who have all that still feel unfulfilled and empty and unworthy if we lost our job or God forbid something went wrong in our career. Because most of us carry and image of ourselves based on what we do for a living and the number of credentials we have. That’s not all who we are.There is more to us than a degree, than a job, than a paycheck. Our worth will never come from a piece of paper.

Yes, it’s good and it’s important to be educated and get skilled but that shouldn’t define us.

What makes us valuable as a human being and a child of God? That’s the reason why you’re worthy.

El

 

 

 

 

Facebook Bullies

What’s on your mind?

Do we really need to share what’s on our mind on Facebook?

If I did, I’d really lose peace of mind and maybe a few friends.

So I’m writing a blog about it instead. 🙂

It’s foolish to speak what’s on your mind without being considerate of others feelings. If you are speaking the truth, are you speaking it in love? We have taken this freedom of speech to a level that is of selfishness, full of sarcasm and of belittling of others.

There has been way too many conversations about the infamous Facebook. Way too many unnecessary status posts including the ones who post about other people’s’ status’ whining and complaining. Well, it’s time to set the record straight on Facebook bullies, because they do exist.

Nothing more gets on my nerves than people who talk negatively about other people’s’ business, life and preferences, especially when they don’t know their story. Shut it. Stop being an ass.

If they bother you that much, hide them from your news feeds, stop lurking on their page and/or unfriend them.

Facebook bullies are the ones that have nothing good to say and only comment and post something to make another person feel stupid, embarrassed, discouraged and unaccepted.

If you’re the victim and your friends are not doing these for you:

  • Making you better
  • cheering you up
  • Strengthening you
  • Encouraging you
  • Comforting you

Confront them or Cut your ties. You really don’t need them.

How many times have I had high school girls tell me about a passive aggressive post one of her class mate has made about her or how about a room-mate about another room-mate. It’s even happened to me. If I’ve ever been the bully, please forgive me. I know Ive complained about people not sharing enough. It’s really none of my business.  It’s not that funny.You should use a little more thought and creativity if you want to be funny.

So what if someone wants to share more than you?  So what if someone wants to share things that you don’t like sharing?  How does that make you feel? Why does it make you feel that way is the better question? Why does someone’s happy post make you annoyed? Are you jealous? do you wish that was about you?

I understand some posts are a little TMI like posting about pooping, peeing etc…but hey, I don’t post a status about how I dislike someone posting about that. Be a little careful with your words. You  never know how someones’ day is going and what their struggle is. Think before you speak.

I personally love updating my friends and family especially my family in Armenia and Iran about my life because I don’t see them here and they get so happy and excited to see our lives unfold and as we are thankful they share theirs with us.  I love reading stories and blogs here because they help me feel I’m not alone. I get encouraged reading love stories and lovey dovey posts. It makes my heart glad and happy when I see people being good to one another.

If you have a problem with this blog and are annoyed and frustrated , then you’re the bully.

Take it Easy,

El

Consider Your Life

She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. Proverbs 31:16

I’m an aggressive person and I can get excited about new ideas and would like to be involved in everything, but I’ve learned the hard way that it’s isn’t wise or possible to do it all. We cannot do everything and do anything well. Quality is much better than quantity. Once a week, I try to “Consider my life” and the things I did during the week and the commitments I have and what I really need to be doing. It’s very difficult for me to say no to things and people because I don’t want to let anyone down. Even though that person will be totally understanding of my decision, I, myself will feel guilty at first and clearly that’s not healthy.

I love the book of Proverbs because it is full of instructions on right living. In verse 16, it begins with “she considers.” Every time, I’m tempted to jump into a new commitment, I need to stop myself and let the excitement die down a little so I can think and see clearly, then, I’ll consider it before making a decision.

I’m naturally a very emotional person, but throughout my life, I have learned that the decisions I have made on pure emotion, have not turned out the best. One of my daily goals is not to act emotionally without forethought.

Life would be so much better if we all took time to think about what we are about to do before doing it.

Yesterday, I went shopping with my sister and when I go, I like to only buy things that I can afford. I saw these pair of shoes that I fell in love with but when I looked at the price, I knew that is not something I can afford right now. As I was getting ready to put it back, my sister offered to pay for me now and I could pay her back later. I was tempted to take her offer because I really wanted the shoes! Deep inside, I knew that would not be wise, because even though I’m not using a credit card with interest, I’m not considering my budget, and I won’t be using self-control if I say yes. I did end up at the cash register with the shoes but at that point, I knew once I walk out of the store, I wasn’t going to be at peace within myself because I  knew I shouldn’t have done it and I wouldn’t really enjoy the shoes. Last minute, I told the lady, I’d come back for it some other time. I felt so good about myself, that I did it! I resisted buying a pair of shoes that I really liked. This might sound silly but it’s these kind of little things that make a big difference.

My example was only of a pair of shoes, but you’ll be surprised how many people are in debt today because they acted on emotional buying and spending.

Also, how many people do we know that make commitments without thinking and then they flake out? I personally don’t like to be a flake and I don’t appreciate those who are.

Emotions are fickle and every changing. So are moods. If we rely on them to be our judge, we will live a miserable lives. We should all remember to think before we act.