“Aren’t you, like me, hoping that some person, thing, or event will come along to give you that final feeling of inner well-being you desire? Don’t you often hope: ‘May this book, idea, course, trip, job, country or relationship fulfill my deepest desire.’ But as long as you are waiting for that mysterious moment you will go on running helter-skelter, always anxious and restless, always lustful and angry, never fully satisfied. You know that this is the compulsiveness that keeps us going and busy, but at the same time makes us wonder whether we are getting anywhere in the long run. This is the way to spiritual exhaustion and burn-out. This is the way to spiritual death.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen, Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World
There is something beautiful about the 40 days of Lent. There is peace. joy. giving. love. All that makes up the characteristics of God Almighty. There is nothing sweeter than the presence of God. Daily Bible Reading. Staying Connected to Him in prayer throughout the day. I love talking to him about everything and knowing that he cares about everything that concerns me.
I’m willing to give up the things that are wasteful and useless and in place draw closer to him without all the noise that fills up my days.
Lent for me is a time of surrender, giving it all up for the One Who gave His Life for me. It is a time of renewal, reflection of what Christ did for me and mankind.
It is more than just not eating certain things or doing certain tasks, it is depending on him for all that my heart desires.
It’s a time to check my heart condition and I’m not talking about the physical heart but the emotions the conditions of my soul.
It is a time of me giving my pains, disappointments to God and asking him to heal me and fill me with his love because nothing else will do.
It is a time of letting go and letting God love me.
As long as I keep running about asking: “Do you love me? Do you really love me?” I give all power to the voices of the world and put myself in bondage because the world is filled with “ifs.” The world says: “Yes, I love you if you are good-looking, intelligent, and wealthy. I love you if you have a good education, a good job, and good connections. I love you if you produce much, sell much, and buy much.” There are endless “ifs” hidden in the world’s love. These “ifs” enslave me, since it is impossible to respond adequately to all of them. The world’s love is and always will be conditional. As long as I keep looking for my true self in the world of conditional love, I will remain “hooked” to the world-trying, failing,and trying again. It is a world that fosters addictions because what it offers cannot satisfy the deepest craving of my heart.”
“solitude begins with a time and a place for God, and God alone. If we really believe not only that God exists but also that God is actively present in our lives– healing, teaching and guiding– we need to set aside a time and space to give God our undivided attention. (Matt 6:6)”
As I continue with the reamining of the 40 days, I will do what will create more room for goodness and give room for God to come in.
His Truly,
El
The Girl That I Want To Be 