The truth about butterflies and rainbow kisses

Was anyone listening to KIIS F.M. this morning?

A girl called stating her case of dating this amazing guy who has been so good to her yet she was having troubling liking him or as she said getting the butterflies and excited and not being able to stop thinking about the person.

Ryan’s advise was if she is calling for an answer it is because she already knows the answer but doesn’t want to hear it. He said an old wise man once told him “The answer that you don’t want to hear is the answer.”

I was still thinking and analyzing when another caller called to give her opinion and what she said was spot on.

We’re always looking for the crazy and the excitement and the butterflies when in the real world it doesn’t work out that way and that’s why relationships and marriages don’t last.

With having said that, here is what I think.

Chemistry is essential. You need to be attracted to the person. You can’t force it.  Character is way more important and it’s for the long and far ride. I’ve been with my husband for seven years and yes he still gives me the butterflies occasionally but for the most part it’s pretty normal and it’s committment and living life side by side day in and day out.

Media has us hooked on romance and all the hype of being in love. We’re always looking to “get” something but marriage works when we’re willing “to give” something to and for our spouses. Not to find the perfect person but to be the perfect person.

I can honestly say I’m in more love with my husband now than I was in the beginning when I had the most butterflies almost all the time. That is because I’ve come to know the person he is so much more and better seven years later than I did when I met him and it was all fun and games. We have created memories and lived experiences. I know him personally and intimately.  He is my constant friend, my companion and my lover.

You can’t be in love or love a person like crazy in like a month. That is more like lust.

Love grows and it is like wine. It gets better with  time spent together loving, giving, forgivig, doing. That’s romance.

Date with your mind and heart. Not just mind and not just heart.

Happily Married,

El

 

 

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