Hungry Soul

When we rely on over-stuffing ourselves with food, drinking until we get drunk, or conducting an adulterous relationship, we are revealing a desperate attempt to silence the cries of a hungry soul.

Our souls have the same ravenous intensity as a vacuum cleaner; that’s how God created us — with a longing to be filled. It is a longing God instilled to draw us into deep intimacy with Him.

c/o Made to Crave by Lisa TerKeurst


i cry more than my baby

I cry when I’m happy
I cry when I’m sad
I cry when I’m hurt
I cry during movies
I cry when someone seems to have forgotten about me
I cry when my daughter has boo boo. I’m tempted to cry with her every time she cries.

I cry easily and often. It seems like that’s how I express any kind of real raw emotion.

Sometimes when I cry happy tears, I need to state a disclaimer to my hubby so he wouldn’t think it’s cuz he did something wrong. But he is getting better at understanding my cry language.

He usually laughs about it but for the most part doesn’t mind the tears.

I don’t like or enjoy crying in front of people though. It makes me feel weak when I want to appear strong and “i got this.”

I also don’t like how I look when i’m crying. It’s not a pretty sight.
I don’t mind the occasional tears running down my face – that one isn’t bad.
When I cry cuz of my heart hurting – that is the worst.

It’s ok to cry, it shows how alive we are and it’s not a sign of weakness as long as you’re not throwing a self-pity party. But even then, i think ever girl deserves to have a pity party for 15 minutes at least and move on.

You know what I hate. When we try to cover up our emotions by blaming our hormones, stress level or PMS or something else to cover the pain in our hearts. Sure hormones have an effect and I know this because they were whack during my pregnancy and I can tell the difference.

I also don’t like when guys underestimate our feelings criticising us for Over reacting or being a drama queen so we ladies like to down play our emotions to not be called names like crazy bitch, drama queen, or emotional.

While we shouldn’t be controlled by our emotions but we should let our emotions indicate the condition of our hearts and the truth will set us free and heal.

the love i know

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t thank God for giving me an incredible husband. I’m so very grateful for him and his love. He knows me most and loves me best.

Before I even knew him, I wrote a list of characteristics that I’d like for my future husband to have and not only does he meet all of them but he really takes it to the next level.

He says it’s because he read a lot of Cosmo in high school LOL

He is just the sweetest most loving man i know and so lucky he is mine.

Elisabeth Elliot puts it in words that speak to me and the love I know and speak of.

“This love of which I speak is slow to lose patience – it looks for a way of being constructive.
Love is not possessive.
Love is not anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own ideas.
Love has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage.
Love is not touchy.
Love does not keep account of evil or gloat over the wickedness of other people. On the contrary, it is glad with all good men when truth prevails.
Love knows no limits to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. It is, in fact, the one thing that stands when all else has fallen.”
― Elisabeth Elliot, Let Me Be a Woman

Britney Spears

Britney Spears and Jason split three days ago and when I found out I was actually sad. I know they are celebrities but it doesn’t take away from the fact that they are human and have feelings.

I really liked the two together and wonder the details of their split.
Daily Mail sorta addresses it here.–revealed-just-dependent-ex-Jason-Trawick.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

There is always a lot of talk about her emotional state and the article mentions watering things down so she won’t lose it. Media never released what was wrong with her when the first hospitalized her.

Nonetheless, she is still one of my favorites and I will always root for her.


The truth about butterflies and rainbow kisses

Was anyone listening to KIIS F.M. this morning?

A girl called stating her case of dating this amazing guy who has been so good to her yet she was having troubling liking him or as she said getting the butterflies and excited and not being able to stop thinking about the person.

Ryan’s advise was if she is calling for an answer it is because she already knows the answer but doesn’t want to hear it. He said an old wise man once told him “The answer that you don’t want to hear is the answer.”

I was still thinking and analyzing when another caller called to give her opinion and what she said was spot on.

We’re always looking for the crazy and the excitement and the butterflies when in the real world it doesn’t work out that way and that’s why relationships and marriages don’t last.

With having said that, here is what I think.

Chemistry is essential. You need to be attracted to the person. You can’t force it.  Character is way more important and it’s for the long and far ride. I’ve been with my husband for seven years and yes he still gives me the butterflies occasionally but for the most part it’s pretty normal and it’s committment and living life side by side day in and day out.

Media has us hooked on romance and all the hype of being in love. We’re always looking to “get” something but marriage works when we’re willing “to give” something to and for our spouses. Not to find the perfect person but to be the perfect person.

I can honestly say I’m in more love with my husband now than I was in the beginning when I had the most butterflies almost all the time. That is because I’ve come to know the person he is so much more and better seven years later than I did when I met him and it was all fun and games. We have created memories and lived experiences. I know him personally and intimately.  He is my constant friend, my companion and my lover.

You can’t be in love or love a person like crazy in like a month. That is more like lust.

Love grows and it is like wine. It gets better with  time spent together loving, giving, forgivig, doing. That’s romance.

Date with your mind and heart. Not just mind and not just heart.

Happily Married,




This is 40

Two weeks ago, my hubby and I went out on a date and saw This is 40. We were laughing so hard relating to the couple and the funny thng is we’re only 30 and could still relate! I love how the movie demonstrated the ups and downs marriage with kids. It is a beautiful mess and ever minute is worth it. Having a family is the best feeling, to have a belonging and then to have a child together it’s just magical.

My husband said he was actually surprised he really liked the movie. Originally he agreed to go for me 🙂

I recommend it to married couples with kids. 🙂

what a bitch!

“I believe confidence is all about being positive concerning what you can do — and not worrying over what you can’t do. A confident person is open to learning, because she knows that her confidence allows her to walk through life’s doorways, eager to discover what waits on the other side. She knows that every new unknown is a chance to learn more about herself and unleash her abilities.”     ―     Joyce Meyer,           The Confident Woman Devotional: 365 Daily Inspirations    

I think I’ve lost my cool only about twice in life and only 3 people have been a witness at different times. 1. God 2. Mom and 3. Hubby. DON’T TEST ME. My sister calls me “dinj” in Armenian and I guess in English it would be mellow? Some take it that I’m passive and do not like confrontation. But I just don’t like strife. I’m naturally a peacemaker and will fight to maintain it.

There have been many opportunities for me to lash out and act like a total bitch. But that’s a bit out of my character and also I can feel God nudging me “You’re better than that.”. From some Facebook updates and posts, many girls are bragging about being a bitch as if it’s a good thing or it’s defined as a girl who knows what they want and won’t take no for an answer. I can’t believe they even have a book out called “Why men marry Bitches.” I schemed through the book and whoever wrote it, I doubt is married.  I asked my hubby if he would have married me if I were a total bitch and he said NO. Why would a men marry a bitch? The bible even says it’s better for a man to live on the roof of a house than in a house with a nagging bitchy wife. I’ve also come across some girls belittling other girls who act like a lady.

Where are we getting these ideas?

I think we’re mixing confidence with bitchiness.

Personally, I have not met a happy bitch. They’re all pretty loud and mean and miserable. Correct me if I’m wrong.

I don’t want to be one nor do I want to instill in my daughter to become one.

Also girls who tend to lash out and “speak their minds” or give them a piece of their mind regret what they said later and are not living in peace. Again, I’m not promoting passive, submissive nor are we supposed to be taken advantage of…etc. But we’re not getting it right!

Now I know most of the “bitchy” girls are also coming in the form of feminists. I’m not against feminism at all. I’m grateful for the women who stood up and claimed equal rights for us. But we’re causing confusion by acting in a way we’re not really naturally wired to. We’re demanding, stomping our feet to get attention when in reality, we have the floor.

I want to encourage all girls to really do an inventory and see if your “bitchiness” is doing you or anyone any good?

The key here is refusing to be passive and making a conscious decision to do what’s right. Being passive means you wait for an outside force to move you or to feel like doing something. Use your will to choose what’s right. And pray for God’s grace to give you the ability to do it. – Joyce Meyer

You don’t have to be a bitch to achieve. Just be confindent in your abilities & don’t worry about what you can’t do.

engaged marriage

I really like my husband. I think he is really cool, very fun and super hot. My view of him hasn’t changed much since we started dating seven years ago. It has actually gotten better. I like him more. He has become a better man.

I noticed that lately I was downgrading our marriage to relate with the mass culture of the married couples who have issues. Honestly, we’re not perfect but we don’t have issues. We annoy each other time to time for sure but even laugh about that.

I live to break marital stereotypes.

One of the main reasons why good marriages go wrong is because couples stop doing that they did while dating. One of them gets too comfortable and the other too familiar.

Just like we can’t keep a beautiful garden unless we water, cut the weeds, protect & nourish day in and day out.

I heard a celebrity say “if you really love someone, you shouldn’t have to work so hard for it.” How foolish. It’s the opposite.

Good things don’t just happen if you don’t make them happen.




But don’t you trust me..

This morning I got a chance to listen to Ryan Seacret’s “Ryan’s Roses”

A wife was calling in because she was getting the vibe that her husband and a good friend might have done something together the night she went to bed early while they stayed up drinking and talking. The wife had agreed for her friend to move in temporarily until she found a place and that night the three of them were up drinking until she went to bed.

Patti called the husband to send the free roses and sure enough her husband makes the roses out to her friend Veronica. When confronted, he admits and says he is very sorry and justifies by the fact that they ‘ONLY” kissed.

I’m not a marriage counselor but I’ve read enough on it to have some relationship codes that you cannot break other than TRUST of course.

As a married couple, it is not wise to have a female friend live in temporarily.

It is also not the best idea to leave them alone together in a room drunk.

The best way to avoid these incidents is to avoid the opportunity all together. Why would you set a trap for yourself?

These kinda things could and do happen if we’re not careful.

Cheaters don’t usually plan to cheat. It happens gradually and it is usually the result of an emotional connection.

Studies show that more affairs happen at work than anywhere else because two people working so closely together day in and day out can establish a bond together, especially if they take lunch breaks together & eventually could lead to other things.

It’s unfortunate that girls who are protective of their relationship are referred to as a “jealous bitch.”  Yes, I know a girl can go a little too far with that but how else would you protect your relationship if you don’t set boundaries and draw the line somewhere?

Girls, don’t be manipulated by a guy who says “But don’t you trust me.” That’s bullshit.

Couples should be encouraged to keep each other accountable and openly talk about everything that includes concerns, insecurities and fears &

I’m also a strong believer in keeping your marriage in tact by seeing a therapist once a year just for a relationship checkup as you do with a’s worth the investement.

My hubby and I have gone to pre-martial counseling, then a follow up marital counseling, went once more when I got pregnant and just a few months ago we had two day marriage retreat at our church.

Those kinda things keep us in check and help us to refocus. We are in it to love each other, to put each other before ourselves for better and for worse.

You can’t just shower once and stay clean. The grass in not greener on the other side, it’s green where they water it.

To listen to today’s Ryan’s Roses go here

Gold Diggers & Pimps

My heart breaks when I see…

Mothers teaching their daughters to become gold diggers letting them believe true love doesn’t exit.

Fathers teaching their sons to be pimps and make it all about money & sex.

Guys are buying stuff to impress girls so they can get with them.

If it wasn’t for materialism, we wouldn’t be in debt, we’d be in love.

What are you teaching your children?

What messages are we sending?

What kind of example are we setting?