What are you eating for?

I’m almost done with my 21 days of Made to Crave Devotional. I just finished day 19 today which means I’ve also been very watchful and mindful of what I’m putting in my body. More so in the last week.

Last week was very stressful for us and I found myself asking my hubby,

“Which is harder having a stressful week or having a stressful week and not being able to eat all the junk you’d like.”

During the last week, not being able to run to food for comfort gave me a few things to think about.

When we go to our parents, are we going because we want to see them and spend time with them or are we going to eat mama’s homemade lasagna?

When we look forward to our lunch are we looking forward to going out and catching up with our friend more than we are about enjoying that burger?

I’m not saying eating is bad or wanting to eat is bad. But how and when are we eating? and how much and for what reason?

It is typical to celebrate with food but what about day in and day out, are we eating to fuel bodies or are we rewarding ourselves like puppies?

It’s been so hard especially this past week, I didn’t allow myself to even cheat on weekends, and not even the superbowl.

I have 5 more weeks to go until I go by the 90% rule, which means I can have one cheat day/week ūüôā





chocolate is my comfort & coffee is my deliverer

I blogged recently about weight loss and because I committed this week to losing rest of the baby weight, I also started a devotional to go hand in hand with my eating habits called Made to crave 21 day challenge. You can dl it free from  YouVersion Bible app. It is about refocusing your mind and emotions.

I’m on day 2 with the reading called “Overweight physically and Underweight Spiritually.”

Really gets to the core of things. I think we’re naturally wired to be emotional eaters. We eat when we’re happy, sad, stressed, and bored when we should be eating when we’re hungry.

Food is good. Our bodies need good nutritious food for it to function well. We can’t have celebrations without food. But we also can’t wait for those celebrations and events to stop in order for us to maintain a healthy eating lifestyle.

God has created us to crave Him more than anything else. What is one thing that you cannot live without? He asks for the one thing and not because he is mean but because he doesn’t want us to be controlled by anything but rather be in control and have power over chocolate, donuts and cake.

He wants us to run to him when we’re stressed and not to¬†the fridge.¬†He wants to feed us spiritually so we can be powerful.

Made to crave.

I long to satisfy my deepest desire with God, not food. I want to consume food and not be consumed by it.

Wanna join the challenge?


Sign up to my blog as I will posts¬†my thoughts and parts from the ¬†devotional¬†¬† start your own study 21 day challenge¬†ūüôā




Finding Skinny Bitch


The picture to the left is one month before I got pregnant. I was a little¬†shy of 120lbs. I gained 85lbs¬†during pregnancy, way more than the average pregnancy weight gain. Emma and I didn’t have any complications¬†during pregnancy or during labor and had a regular birth with epidural.

Since Emma’s birth, I’ve lost almost 50lbs but been stuck for the last six months now.

My current weight is the average weight of what I’ve always been since my 20’s with the exception of the drastic weight loss due to¬†my vegan diet and working out 4-5x¬†a week for a year after our wedding. I went from a size 6 to a size 2-4, That one year that I maintained my weight was the year I felt my very best and ever since I’ve had Emma, it’s been a struggle getting back to my pre baby weight.

I gave up on my vegan diet during pregnancy¬†so it’s been a challenge for me to eliminate the meat and dairy but this week, I made up my mind I’m going to stick with it.

I re-read a couple of the books that first got me motivated. Books like Eat to Live, and The Skinny Bitch. (BTW the “bitch” in Skinny Bitch” is not the mean bitch you’re thinkig of, the title is picked to grab reader’s attention, says the book) The last few weeks, I committed¬†to going to the gym with my hubby. I had stopped working out during Fall Semester because I just couldn’t do it with full-time work and school and keeping the house together. It was too much.

I jokingly say that maybe my body doesn’t want to lose weight, maybe it wants to get pregnant again.

Even if we choose to go for another baby, I really want to make healthy eating choices during pregnancy and not gain as much.

I really thought all that was going to be water weight and I did have a lot of water but most of it was fat. By the time I got home from the hospital the next day, I was already down 30Lbs. Emma was born close to 10lbs and I guess the 20lbs must have been the water and placenta and the rest, fat. LOL

I tried being intense about it right when we got home from the hosptial. I’d try to eat little but that made me feel sick especially since I was breastfeeding so I couldn’t keep up with it. I just felt so icky during and after.

It’s so annoying and frustrating to see celebrity moms bounce right back in less than 4 months. It seems like every magazine cover features “How she got her body back after baby in just 90 days!”

Maybe I’m a little jealous.

One celebrity I love and can relate to is Jessica Simpson! I loved watching her pregnancy and even after because she reminded me of me! Check out her interview with Jay Leno, she is hilarious, Jessica Simpson interview

oh how I wish, someone would give me a 3 million contract to lose the weight and be their spokesperson ūüôā

Emma is almost 20 months and I’m still about 30lbs away from my ideal weight. I dont’ do diets well. Whenever I’m restricted I end up eating more. I like the word lifestyle because that makes me relax and enjoy what I eat knowing that what I’m putting in my body is to fuel it and give it what’s nutritious.

I’m determined to lose it for good by¬†eating healthy and working out and being good¬†to¬†my body.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

New International Version (NIV)

19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

I will update again.

Week 1: Eat to Live Program

ok so I started this week with the Six week Eat to Live Program. I did really well for the most part!! I’m actually impressed that I didn’t start emotional eating due to stress and new changes in my schedule. I did however eat some salsa and chips for lunch today so I’m going to make up for it by eating really light for the rest of the day.

Since we have a 3 day weekend, I must plan my eating the next 3 days carefully so I don’t blow it. I can’t make excuses¬†because there just is NEVER the perfect time. It’s always someone’s event, birthday or labor day. So I have to stay focused. Keep my eyes on what’s head and the goal.


Since last August

A few blogs ago, when I was making my birthday wish list, I said we will come back to relfect on my last year since my birthday.

Well last year in August, I was determined to lose all the baby weight by Dec 2011 but I haven’t. I still have 40lbs to go. So my goal is to lose it by this Dec 2012.

Last year for my birthday hubby and i went to vegas for 3 days and this year we plan on going to san diego for one night. Emma was only 3 months old when we left her with mom, so I was having panic attacks being away from her that long.

I’ve grown a lot since last year. I’ve transitioned into motherhood. It took me awhile.

It’s been almost a year since I’ve been back to work since my maternity leave.

I’ve enrolled in 2 classes for the fall.

I signed up at the gym and have being going 3 x a week.

I’ve rekindled some old friendships.

I’m in a better place, mentally, emotionally.

I’ve learned I can be tough when I need to be

I have experienced some biblical truths that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

I was having really bad self-image cuz of my weight gain, but I’ve learned to accept it at any size and work on toward my goal.

I’ve been getting a lot more sleep since Emma is older.

I’m enjoying play time with my baby more than anything.

i love family time.

We started going to church as a family once Emma turned 6 months – we enrolled her in our Church’s nursery.

My goals for my next birthday would be:

Have lost all the weight, and look/feel better than ever.

Finished/or close to finish my degree.

Go out-of-town with the entire family



Post Baby Body

I never realized how hard losing weight could be¬† until I had a lot of weight to lose. Before pregnancy, losing weight was not so hard because I didn’t have a lot to lose but after baby, it’s been a bit of a struggle.

I was a size 2, when I became pregnant with my daughter and I gained total of Jessica Simpson. I gained a lot. Fine, 85 lbs. It’s twice as much as you’re supposed to gain. Me and my baby were completely fine and gave birth to 9lbs 1.6 oz healthy¬†baby. I got up an walked after my last push. ūüôā

Soon after, I was on a mission to get my pre baby body back asap!

If I had Weight Watchers sign me on for a million dollar contract, I am pretty sure I would have been to my size 2 by now.

I’m open to them, if they’re interested in me.

My daughter turned 1 this May and I’ve lost 60lbs and have about 25 lbs more to go.

I could have lost more, but somewhere along those months, I lost hope and I almost started believing that maybe they are right, I will not get my body back. So, I stopped making looking good a priority because to a lot of people my desire to be thin again was seen as vain and it was something for a mom to get over it, you’re a mom now.

Not me.

I care about the way I look. I want to feel good inside and out. Not just inside. Looking good, feeling sexy, wearing the tiny, tight outfits are important to me. If I want to have that, I need to make daily sacrifices and practice discipline and self-control.

I’m not obsessing about losing the weight fast nor am I get discouraged anymore.

I have rather accepted the idea that it will take some time but I will get there.

Where as before, I wanted to get there now.

I have so much respect for the moms who don’t lose themselves and still take care of themselves because they love themselves. Because you are worth it!

But I also understand, and feel for the moms who want to but don’t have the time or the child care to go to the gym or make time to work out at home.

I used say “oh, if you really want it, you will make the time!”

That was before I even got pregnant.

Experience is our greatest teacher.

It’s true for eating habits¬†but I know with a baby, it’s very difficult to make the time to work out. An alternative would be taking the kids out on a stroll or finding a dvd workout for kids to do together. That will get you moving! Start somewhere. ūüôā

Sometimes, a bag of hot cheetos, will really get a mom through the day. I’ve had days like that!

I think it taught me the importance of living in the season you’re in and not someone’s else’s season.

It taught me to accept things for what it is and it also taught me true change comes from getting so fed up with your current situation, that it pushes you to make changes to get to where you want to be.

For me, it’s been, taking walks around the transit center at work 2-3 times a day total of 45 minutes and going to the gym with hubby at least 3 times a week.¬†¬†I’ve been eating healthier, trying to go back to my vegeterian diet,¬†and treating my body with respect because it really works hard for me and I need to fuel it with nutrients it deserves.

I consider myself lucky to have a husband, who, not once made a comment about my weight but has loved me the same through my ups and downs, bones and curves, and all of me. He has been a constant support through it all.  I love him lots.