Laundry for 3

laundry

It seems like the more I do laundry the more clothes I have to wash. I used to manage it once a week but now its almost twice a week or even daily as when there is a load ready, I try to put it in.
Above is the picture of what my Friday night looked like. ūüôā

If you have¬†ever tried folding a laundry with a toddler it’s like folding the laundry with a big fan on right next to you LOL

I watied until hubby and baby we’re both asleep and I tackled it in 30 minutes.

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Our Halloween Pics :)

I don’t usually share a lot of personal photos in this blog but these were must see in my opinion. Hubby and I took our daughter to our church’s Light the Night Event and then trick or treating. Here are the cutest pics of the night. ūüôā Is it just me or does my husband kinda look like Justin Timberlake? LOL

Divorcing Religion

If anyone thinks himself¬† to be religious (piously observant of the external duties of his faith) and¬† does not bridle his tongue but deludes his own heart, this person‚Äôs religious¬† service is worthless (futile, barren). ‚ÄĒJames 1:26

Sometimes it seems that religion is killing people. There¬† are many who are seeking a relationship with God, but the religious community¬† tells them what they need to ‚Äúdo‚ÄĚ in order to be acceptable to Him. This ¬† religious spirit was alive in Jesus‚Äô day, and even though He died to put an end¬† to it and bring people into close personal relationship with Himself, the Holy¬† Spirit, and the Father, that same spirit still torments people to this day‚ÄĒif¬† they don‚Äôt know the truth.

Religion says, ‚ÄúYou must find a way, no matter how¬† impossible it may seem. You had better follow the rules or suffer punishment.‚Ä̬† But relationship says, ‚ÄúDo your best because you love Me. I know your heart. ¬† Admit your faults, repent of your mistakes, and just keep loving Me.‚ÄĚ – Joyce Meyer

Being an Armenian and from the first nation to accept Christianity, Armenia Рwe as people are much more religious than we are in a relationship with the God we claim to believe. We follow man-made traditions we have created like baby christening for the name of God but are clueless to know God and what baptism means to Him in our Lord Jesus Christ. For instance the Bible says

water baptism, as taught and demonstrated by Jesus, as the way for
believers to identify with the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus.

We live in motions of going to church maybe for Christmas but for sure Easter, and doing other stuff on the side like wearing the evil eye charms but are not living lives that reflect our beliefs in fact it almost contradicts everything written.

I was raised in a home that taught right from wrong and was taught to believe that no matter what I do God is watching me. I was given the idea that in order for God to love me, I had to be good and if I wasn’t, I should be expected to be punished. Not knowing the truth, I lived in fear and torment whenever I did make a mistake or didn’t live up to the rules and standards that my parents had made for me. Just like everyone else, we actually practice withcraft without knowing it like reading cups, cards, wearing evil eye jewelary, hanging from our car, cross hanging at our house and our necks but No Christ in our hearts or seen in our Lives.

It wasn’t until after high school, that I decided to dig deep to the roots of my faith¬†Christianity¬†and make sense of this confusion. I realized this deep longing inside of me that no one and nothing else could fill. I had a good family and lacked no good thing but there was an emptiness inside of me that i knew only God could fill.

I was all alone in my room on a Saturday morning, when I invited God to show himself real to me. And He did by¬†surrounding me with the warmth love as if His arms were really around me & filled my heart with so much joy and peace all at once that I couldn’t deny him. That’s when the desire in me to want to go to church, want to read the Bible to know Him better birthed. I could now have conversations with him inside my home, in my car and fellowship with other believers at church in which all reflected His love and character for His children in all races and nations.

It’s been almost 12 years since I started my journey with God and He has changed my idea of Him.

I had to divorce religion, in order to know God.

With love & blessings,

Elle

 

hush my baby, dont you cry..

Our daughter is a year and a half old now and she has become an unstoppable chatterbox with bursts of energy. We love her to pieces. As cute as she is, she has been giving us a hard time during bedtime. Since the time she turned one month old we let her sleep in her crib in her room and has been that way until now. She has become clingy¬†and prefers sleeping in my arms and then I need to tip toe my way in her room and pray to God she doesn’t wake up as I lay her down to sleep. I realize she is building healthy attachement and now knows who she can trust. But at the same time she knows how to manipulate to get her way.

This has become the new pattern and I realize my hubby was right it needs to stop. The falling asleep process is taking longer and it’s exhausting. The aftermath of this is none of us gets a good night of rest, we’re late to work and drained throughout the day.

As a mom, when I hear her even whimper, I run to¬†her rescue. Maybe I should re-read Babywise¬†and remind myself that it’s ok for her to cry even if she cries for 10 minutes she won’t lose brain cells. It’s¬† bedtime and she doesn’t want to sleep. It’s not like she needs anything and I’d be neglecting her if I let her soothe herself and fall asleep.

We never had trouble with this. We would put her in her crib and she’d know it’s bedtime.

You would think I”d know better¬†considering the fact Child Development is my MAJOR but no book knowledge can equip for the actual experience. boo! Just like reading a map isn’t the same as exploring to those places. yep.

I’m assuming it’s because of the change in her schedule. I’ve been taking her to mom’s at different times in the mornings and her nap time isn’t consistent as it used to be with her nanny. Her nanny is currently on a vacation for the rest of the month. I’m hoping she doesn’t decide to extend her vacation! We need her and miss her!

So the fact that I’ve been taking her out of her¬†routine, at the end of the day, I feel guilty if I don’t comfort her when she cries.¬† In reality, I’m letting her manipulate and control me and NEEDS to stop.

When you’re married, your husband and marriage must remain priority. This is for the best interest of the children as well. The father and mother are responsible in meeting all of the child’s needs and raising him/her in a way that they will be able to leave them and be¬†& do well on their own. ¬†Teach the bird how to fly. By attending to my baby 24/7, leaves me no time or energy for my husband. If a wife/husband doesn’t make time for each other, it won’t ever happen on it’s own. You must be intentional. Like a NINJA.

The worst thing a parent can do is everything for their child. This will handicap them.

Today, I’ll have to reinforce, putting her to bed and leaving her there. It is said that it takes three days for a baby to learn a new habit/break old one.

Please pray for strength and consistency.

I’d love to hear from other mamas about my situation.

thank you xoxo

Elle

9 Reasons that explain the steady collapsing of marriage in America

–I assume that the relationship is probably going to break up at some point, and the breakup will hurt less if we were never married in the first place.

–Marriage is an exploitative, chauvinistic anachronism that heavily favors patriarchal control. Liberated women will more likely get what they want on their own.

–From the male point of view, women are giving it away these days. You don‚Äôt have to commit to her to get sex.

–Single parenthood is the new normal. African-Americans are already there with single-parent birthrates in some places above 70 percent. White folks‚Äô single parenthood stats are following.

–My mom was a single parent, and I turned out fine.

–Marriage is something you can think about when your kids are raised and you are secure in your job.

–Cohabiting preserves your freedom of choice.

–Movies and TV shows relentlessly portray young men as either uneducated, clueless, reckless, socially inept, or violent. Why would any woman want to lock in her life to such a high-risk partner?

–I‚Äôm not going to get married until I find the perfect soul mate.

Are these the attitudes you want in your children‚Äôs minds? In your grandchildren’s? In your own spouse‚Äôs?

 

If you don’t, God has a better way. Let’s give the divine designer a chance to explain to us how to be happily married till death us do part and how to build a family life that will give him glory.

Little Brother

Seven years ago today, my mommy gave birth to my little brother. My birthday is on August 26th, so 5 days before my 22nd birthday, I got a little brother to love. Our lives¬†changed. My mom was 43, and dad¬†47 years¬† old at the time, I was almost 22 and my sister was almost 20. The gap was obious. The pregnancy was a surprise. Mom thought her menstrual cycle had stopped becasue she was going through menopause. Prior to her taking the pregnancy test, a few days before, I had a dream that she had a son but I thought that would be impossible at this age and also the doctor’s had told her 7 years before all of this, that she probably would never be able to get pregnant again.

For my parents, my brother was like living a 2nd lifetime, all over again. My dad was the only one from his 3 siblings to have two girls, the rest had one girl and one boy. He was also proud of us but deep inside he probably wished he also had a son but he had given up on that dream because of their age. Well, God had other plans. Gregie’s surprise reminds me of the verse “delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart,” and Nothing is impossible with God.

I must agree, it was a tough transition for all of us. It was exciting to see my mom going through pregnancy. I was only 1 and a few months when she was pregnant with my sister so I could never remember that, but now I had been given a chance to see it all and have a deeper appreciation and respect for my mom. She gave a natural, no epideral birth with three pushes.

When the 4 of us came home from the hospital it was like, Ok, now what?

Our lives changed. We had to be there for mom.

We had some hard times but 7 years later, today, Gregie has brought so much joy into our lives. My daddy is a proud papa of a son, not that he wasn’t before ūüėČ He treated us all like royalties.

A year ago, I gave birth to my daughter, and Gregie became a young uncle at the age of 6. Today, he insists that Emma calls him Uncle Greg and it’s the cutest thing to see them playing together.

Such are the miracles of God,

My baby girl Emma and my brother Gregie

El

Adventure Day

I’m slowly starting to understand God’s love and grace. Not with mere head knowledge but I’m getting it in my heart in my spirit. Saturday night we visited my second cousins and I couldn’t believe how happy she seemed and free. No rules, laws to follow just the freedom in Christ.

We talked about our culture and how not only as an Armenian we have many traditions forced down our throat, some with no meaning and some out of obligation, and talked about our churches and the motions of Christianity. Jesus has gone missing in our lives because we are too busy trying to keep traditions, and please everyone.

It isn’t until we get the concept of grace and the amazing love of God, that then we are truly free and are able to enjoy life just as God intended for us.¬†Free of guilt and condemnation.

I remember growing up, i¬†was raised in a way that if you weren’t working, you were wasting time. Fun was not an option nor was it encouraged. My husband comes from a different background. He was encouraged to have fun, play, hang out with friends and do things he enjoyed.

I am purposely trying to let my “work” down a little, to make room for fun.

I am purposely trying to get off my performance treadmill and just be.

We went to bed late Saturday night, and woke up late Sunday morning around 11:30am. We missed church but we had the best family day. My hubby played a song or two on his guitar, my sister came by for a short visit, we took Emma out to Topanga Canyon for play time, had amazing sushi lunch, stopped at my parents, hung out and swam in the pool with sister and her bf, lounged around doing nothing and finally got home around 10:00pm.

Hubby and I didn’t want the day to end. It was that kinda of day.

A lot of time we are presented a list to follow, things to do but¬†once in a while, it’s good to do nothing except just to have fun.

xoxo

El

 

 

 

Friends With Kids

Hubby and I just finished watching the movie Friends with Kids starring almost the entire cast of Bridesmaids. Great movie. Highly recommend it to married couples and single friends who are afraid of marriage or have the wrong idea of what a good marriage and a family is really about.

I enjoy watching movies that I can relate to. It’s so funny how many negative sentiments there are about marriages but it’s not what it seems. Yes, it’s a lot of hard work, yes it’s challenging at times but the grass isn’t greener on the other side. It’s only green where you water it.¬† I know this blog is titled happily married but I just want to emphasis you don’t get the happily without some sweat and a few tears here and there.

Storyline

Two best friends decide to have a child together while keeping their relationship platonic, so they can avoid the toll kids can take on romantic relationships.

This is also true for a happy marriage.

xoxo

El

Love loves at all times and no matter what

Sometimes I can be a little too hard on myself and get caught in the middle of focusing on my faults and weaknesses instead of my strengths. But my husband on the other hand, he  really displays the heart and love of God in the way He loves me and shows that he does in spite of my shortcomings.

Love covers all faults.

Love does.

Love is a verb.

Love is patient.

I have the tendency to leave the cabinet doors half-open, cereal box open and spill sugar and coffee when I’m making my Armenian coffee. A typical reaction would be to get annoyed at these things and irritated but instead my hubby is so patient with me.

On my way home yesterday I received a text from him saying “Even though, you left the doors and cereal box open again, I still love you.”

I couldn’t help but laugh and at that moment my heart was overjoyed to have that kind of love in my life.

Love is kind.

To top it off, when I got home, he had written a really beautiful, encouraging note on the kitchen board. I teared up and gave him a big hug because those words carried life and healing in them. He just knows what to say and do to make my life wonderful.

One of the areas that I see God real in my life is in my marriage because I know what we have is valuable and it’s not obtained mere by human efforts.

I see answered prayers.

I see transformation.

I see love at it’s best.

I see God’s fingerprints.

All glory to Him. Who is the center of our marriage.

Threefold Cord.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

‚̧

El

Your worth will never come from a piece of paper

I never imagined it would take me so long to get a BS degree. It’s been an adventure. I just got an email that Fall Registration is coming up and I’m really contemplating about going back and finishing the remaining classes that I have left. I was supposed to walk last year of May 23, 2011 but Emma was born May 21, 2011 so I received my MOM degree instead. It’s been a joke on campus that I received my MRS and MOM degree and I’m still working on my BS.

Honestly, getting a degree is not going to effect me in my job and passion. What I’m really passionate about is family, marriage and relationships. For me to really get into MFT, it will require more schooling and thousands of internship hours and I just don’t know if I want that anymore because it will require my time away from my family and baby.

My life has turned out differently than I planned it in high school. I didn’t know I was going to change my mind from a Business Management degree to Child Development in the second year of college. I just didn’t like Accounting. Ironically, my job has been in Finance, Purchasing and Administration and I’m pretty darn good in it. It wasn’t planned for my mom to have my brother when I was almost 22 years old. Both my sister and I took time off from schooling and work to help our mom.More my sister than I. God bless her heart and hard work.

From the start, I’ve been family oriented and have put my family and loved ones ahead of me and my education. I’m not sure if that’s the right thing or the good thing, but I don’t regret it.

The only nagging feeling is that I still don’t have my degree. The more I think about it, I realize why it is actually bothering me. I don’t feel as worthy in that department because the normal thing to do after high school is going to college and get a degree and it hasn’t turned out that way for me so I’m feeling a little loss and out-of-place.

There is no rush or urgency in needing to get my degree but only a sense of achievement, accomplishment and I just want to be proud of myself that I finished what I started regardless of how long it took. I also dream of Emma being there on my graduation day and being proud of her mom.I would really like that.

I already know that even getting the degree is not going to make me feel any worthy than I already am. Really, it’s only a piece of paper. God never intended us to seek our worth in the world. It has to come from within. Yet, we get so stuck on our accomplishments and notable degrees, that those of us who have all that still feel unfulfilled and empty and unworthy if we lost our job or God forbid something went wrong in our career. Because most of us carry and image of ourselves based on what we do for a living and the number of credentials we have. That’s not all who we are.There is more to us than a degree, than a job, than a paycheck. Our worth will never come from a piece of paper.

Yes, it’s good and it’s important to be educated and get skilled but that shouldn’t define us.

What makes us valuable as a human being and a child of God? That’s the reason why you’re worthy.

El