Honoring Your Husband…
When your husband is down, don’t react with disgust as though he had lost his masculinity. Maintain the attitude that he’s important.
– From “It Takes Two to Tango” by Gary and Norma Smalley
It’s a lot more difficult for a guy to show his weakness and vulnerability because our society and even us have put so much pressure on them to maintain their muscularity and strength even in the midst of a storm.
We tell our little boys not to cry because “boys don’t cry.” We teach them to just get up and move on. Somewhere along the journey, their hearts get heavy and they may come a time when they can’t carry the load anymore so they revert into a cave they have created a safety place for them where they isolate themselves from everyone to figure things out on their own. It’s a guy thing.
Sometimes they carry their baggage into their marriage and could affect their wives and the entire family if they don’t communicate their needs. I know when my hubby gets quiet and goes into his cave which for him could be going to our room by himself while I do my thing with Emma or I take Emma out with me so he can have his alone time.
I understand we all need time for ourselves and we should respect each other by giving each other time to refresh.
I would like to encourage wives, mothers and just the entire family to be a little more understanding and open to disarm the men in the family and make it ok for them to be down a little time to time. Give them that space to deal with whatever they may be feeling. Allow them to cry on your shoulder if they need to. Don’t make them feel embarrased and infuse shame into them when they’re little.
It took me some time to realize that my job is not always to tell him to “snap out of it.” Or “cheer up.” Sometimes he needs me to just be there and not say a thing and let him feel whatever he is feeling. When he is ready to talk about it, we’ll talk.
If you’re like me, I want to know when we will talk and resolve so I’ll ask him to give me a time frame and respect him in the meantime instead of relentlessly trying to fix him.
I adore and love my husband for crying with me during romantic movies or any touchy movies. He is such a man’s man and the fact that he is not embarrassed to do it, attracts me to him even more.
I love the times we’ve had those crying together moments. It has brought us closer and stronger.
It’s ok for boys to cry. It’s also ok for men to cry.
Crying is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of a heart that beats.