Morphing Eliza

You know it sucks, when your hubby is right. 😉 It really makes all the difference when you get to know yourself and others. My personality type is that I’m an all or nothing person and I tend to see things in black or white perspective. It has it’s advantages and disadvantages. Thankfully, I’m married to a man who sees the whole picture. When I see something different than my preference as wrong, he sees it as different and that’s what makes our relationship so great. We bring out the best in each other.

One of the hardest things and struggles for me in the past years have been breaking old bad habits. Not talking about addictions, but habit of wrongful thinking and expectations and beliefs.

Understanding where you come from, how you were raised and your background, and all the little things that happened along the way that we call experiences help you become your best self. It’s really not in high in the clouds and super spiritual rather it’s all very practical.

In Christ, we are new creatures. Old things have passed away and behold all things are made new. Yes. But there is some in between soul work that needs to be done with the help of the Holy Spirit. That’s where I’m at. It’s like having shoe laces tied in a knot and trying to untangle them one at a time.

It’s the constant struggle of what a Christian should look like and the nagging sense of failing people and being criticized as a hypocrite.  Letting Jesus down and being a bad rep for God.

Clearly, I have failed.

But I know, It’s in those cracks that the light of God gets in and makes me whole.

I’m always concerned about what people will think not so much of myself but of the faith I profess and this Jesus I proclaim Lord and Savior. I forget that the people who wrote the bible were as messed up if not more than me and they all were sinners just like you and me.

It’s this burden of how I live my life according to God’s Word and whether or not I’m obeying him. Whether or not am I being a good Christian gets in the way of my walk with God.

The nagging constant old fashioned Armenian mentality of what a women should be and the traditions we should follow that supposedly is the right way…said I don’t know who. The rules and regulations set by our mothers, relatives, churches and so and so that keeps us from becoming our best self. The constant battle of competition to be the best and have this and that that force us to become someone we’re not. The strict parenting styles that make no sense that are set differently and unfairly based on gender. I dislike them all!

These are all important for me to resolve because I have a daughter to raise with my wonderful husband. I want to raise a fearless, fierce and a confident woman. Who wouldn’t shy away from the unknown and who wouldn’t be afraid to take risks and make mistakes.

With that said, I just want to leave you with this last thought.  Just because someone is a Christian, it does not make them an angel or any better than someone who is not.  Just because someone goes to church, it does not make them a good person just like standing in the garage won’t make one a car.

Just because someone says they’re Christian it does not make them a boring person with no personality.

Jesus came to rescue us from the law….He came to give us Grace.

He chose to be crucified for me knowing all the mistakes that I would make. Nothing that I will ever do is ever a surprise to God. He loves me past,  today, tomorrow and forever the same. That’s my Redeeming Love.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8

 

He came so that we may have life and have it to the full.

He summed it up by love your neighbor as yourself.

He simply wants us to walk in Love.

God wants us to enjoy life. Nothing makes him happier than his children enjoying life.

Isn’t that what a parent wants for their children?

“If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” – John 8:7

El