Your worth will never come from a piece of paper

I never imagined it would take me so long to get a BS degree. It’s been an adventure. I just got an email that Fall Registration is coming up and I’m really contemplating about going back and finishing the remaining classes that I have left. I was supposed to walk last year of May 23, 2011 but Emma was born May 21, 2011 so I received my MOM degree instead. It’s been a joke on campus that I received my MRS and MOM degree and I’m still working on my BS.

Honestly, getting a degree is not going to effect me in my job and passion. What I’m really passionate about is family, marriage and relationships. For me to really get into MFT, it will require more schooling and thousands of internship hours and I just don’t know if I want that anymore because it will require my time away from my family and baby.

My life has turned out differently than I planned it in high school. I didn’t know I was going to change my mind from a Business Management degree to Child Development in the second year of college. I just didn’t like Accounting. Ironically, my job has been in Finance, Purchasing and Administration and I’m pretty darn good in it. It wasn’t planned for my mom to have my brother when I was almost 22 years old. Both my sister and I took time off from schooling and work to help our mom.More my sister than I. God bless her heart and hard work.

From the start, I’ve been family oriented and have put my family and loved ones ahead of me and my education. I’m not sure if that’s the right thing or the good thing, but I don’t regret it.

The only nagging feeling is that I still don’t have my degree. The more I think about it, I realize why it is actually bothering me. I don’t feel as worthy in that department because the normal thing to do after high school is going to college and get a degree and it hasn’t turned out that way for me so I’m feeling a little loss and out-of-place.

There is no rush or urgency in needing to get my degree but only a sense of achievement, accomplishment and I just want to be proud of myself that I finished what I started regardless of how long it took. I also dream of Emma being there on my graduation day and being proud of her mom.I would really like that.

I already know that even getting the degree is not going to make me feel any worthy than I already am. Really, it’s only a piece of paper. God never intended us to seek our worth in the world. It has to come from within. Yet, we get so stuck on our accomplishments and notable degrees, that those of us who have all that still feel unfulfilled and empty and unworthy if we lost our job or God forbid something went wrong in our career. Because most of us carry and image of ourselves based on what we do for a living and the number of credentials we have. That’s not all who we are.There is more to us than a degree, than a job, than a paycheck. Our worth will never come from a piece of paper.

Yes, it’s good and it’s important to be educated and get skilled but that shouldn’t define us.

What makes us valuable as a human being and a child of God? That’s the reason why you’re worthy.

El

 

 

 

 

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